my girlhood is mine

My girlhood is my safe place. My girlhood is where I can feel desired and innocent. My girlhood is the fictional places in my mind from the stories I read. My girlhood is the feelings between lyrics in a song. My girlhood is a place where I can be whoever I want to be. I get to pick the story that I share to others. Without knowing who I am, I get to pick who I choose to be because of my girlhood. I can be delicate and powerful. I can make my own choices and stand by them. My girlhood is my strength. Except, at the end of the day, I am just a girl and my girlhood is just a place I made up in my mind. In the real world I am a girl made of pain. Physically us girls are created with pain, it is inevitable, period pains, childbirth, sore boobs. The world has caused us mental pain that we dare not show. We are told to calm down and we cannot lose control. We need to keep our feelings, appetite, sexuality, dreams in check. Keep it to ourselves. Do not let it out, until it benefits another or there will be repercussions. In the real world, we are told we are easy if our body count is not the "perfect number", but if that number is zero, we do not pleasure you correctly. You want us to stay at home and tend to the house and children, but we are told we are lazy without ambitions and jobs. You don't want us to be too fat, but being too skinny also isn't okay. You want us to have personality, but if we show it, we are "too much".  Make up your damn minds. It is tiring hearing everyone talk about others. It is not your body. It is not your life. It is not your choice. The real world is a scary place that I feel like I don't belong in. I honestly don't want to belong. I want my safe place. I want to be in my girlhood where I can choose the narrative. My girlhood is mine. Not yours or anyone else's. IT. IS. MINE. My girlhood is the fictional place in my mind that I enjoy the most. It is peaceful with sunshine and butterflies. It is mellow with rain and clouds. It is my escape. And I will not let you take that from me.

                                                                                            Drew Bryant